Vajayjay Monologues

I went to the Vagina Monologues last weekend. I've been wanting to blog about it for a while. It'll be a week since I've been and I cannot stop thinking about how much I want to blog about it. It's kinda hard to get the image of a flaming red head with an Irish accent throwing a bitch fit about tampons while she sits propped in a chair, legs raised spread eagle towards the entire audience. That's a brave woman right there. I feel uncomfortable sitting Indian style. (Native American style to be politically correct?)

Emmy and I had been chatting before the show about the people involved. She saw one of her friend's evil roommates was on the production team. Apparently she had stepped on quite a few toes and trampled a few people to get up there. Emmy also saw one of her old Sociology TA's. Small world.

It was a powerful thing. The purpose of the event was to raise money for abused women around the world, as well as promote awareness. They had various knick knacks for sale. Emmy got a pin that said "Vagina Warrior", while mine said "The Vagina Monologues" and had different words for the vag in the background: cootchie snortcher, vajayjay, taco you name it they pretty much had it on there. They even had chocolate vagina lollipops.

The monologue that struck me the most was the one about a young girl repeatedly abused in Bosnia by soldiers. They'd shove guns and whatever else they could find in her "down there" to the point where she held part of the lip in one of her hands at one time. Several women in the audience shuddered and covered their mouths, some even compelled to place their hands over their downstairs much like a guy would do if his family jewels were being threatened.

During intermission they raffled off some vagina friendly toys. Lube, vibrators, shot glasses they thought of everything. I found it hilarious that a middle age woman jumped with excitement as her number was called. She then proceeded to slide the vibrator she had won into her purse with a serious expression across her face. Fun fact: Apparently vibrators are banned in some of the Southern States.

"Oh no honey we are not goin dhere!" laughed a 40 year old woman with the thickest Puerto Rican accent I had heard in person. She and her friends laughed behind us as Emmy and I tried our hardest not to turn around.

Kristin, one of the editors of the magazine I write for called Inc!te, was in a few skits. She was in the dance number and I couldn't imagine having my parents watch me be straddled by another girl. But there were her parents, cool and snapping away with their digital cameras as their daughter wrapped her leg around another girl in the dance number.

They showed a slideshow as well with videos of people being asked "What is the first thing you think of when you hear the word vagina?" To my surprise, I saw Patrick Rembert's confused face up on the screen, speecheless for the first time. I was sitting anxiously in my seat waiting for him to say something ridiculous. He's so quiet here compared to what he is back in Long Beach.

The concluding act was a monologue about well a girl who liked to please girls. All the girls got into a line as she gave descriptions of the different moans women make during sex. Each cast member reproduced the respective moan. Some of them I can't even remember the names of but their sounds will remain forever in my mind.

At the end the tone got more serious, and they asked us to all participate in an exercise. They asked all who have been sexually abused to stand up. Men and women peppered in the crowd stood up. They then asked who knows someone who has been a victim. More bodies steadily rose. Emmy and I remained sitting turning around in all directions to take it all in. The last one asked for those who were going to put a stop to it to stand. Emmy and I stood up.

Her Sociology TA and the evil roommate had both stood up on the first one. We couldn't believe it.

The Glasses Fit

Today in my Literary Journalism class we had presentations. One girl was excitedly telling us how much she was fascinated by "the gamer." She went on and on to describe how her friend had completely replaced all forms of social interactions with his online gaming activities. His gaming activities have since been reduced thanks to his increased exposure to the college atmosphere.

I casually asked if he had been to Lan parties because it would be interesting to see how him and other gamers interact in the real world while playing games in the virtual world. I could hear the sqeauking of chairs in the other classroom, and feel the blank stares from my fellow classmates as the silence filled the room. I sighed and went head first into a rant about how lan parties were where gamers get together in one area with all their computers and game. My nerd status was thus confirmed in front of my entire journalism class. As if it wasn't bad enough I told them if I had to be a superhero I would be the Silk Spectre II from the graphic novel Watchmen. Yeah I know she's pretty much the slut of the novel but she's the only girl.

Back to LJ, little did she realize this cultural observation of hers was one that I experience pretty much everyday around my friends. Now my friends do not isolate themselves from the rest of the world just to play video games. They play basketball and do the occasional essay or homework assignment, while gaming, but they get their work done. Terms like RPG and 3rd person shooter game sound like basic gamer knowledge to them.

As a class we are required to give feedback and ask questions as to how she would go about doing research and writing for her article. People brought up things about Second Life, WoW, Left for Dead, and Halo. All of the things we discussed I recognized as normal parts of daily conversation between my boyfriend and our friends.

Gaming relationships have truly come a long way. With the advent of more interactive online games that require the cooperation among a group of strangers in third person shooter games such as Gears of War, the "gamer" is slowly being forced to socially interact with his counterparts. Most people are completely unaware of this new phenomenon. Games are slowly becoming a more acceptable form of social interaction. No longer is the gamer restricted to communicating with his teammates via text, but they are allowed to trash talk other players through a headset. Typing a series of profanities does not have quite the same effect. Thus the more realistic the interactions, the stronger the bonds formed between these gamers.

I have a friend who used to be ranked #1 in the world in Splinter Cell. He has friends in other MA that he keeps in touch with on a regular basis, and he has even visited them on occasion. He entered a Splinter Cell tournament with them through Best Buy and ended up winning the whole thing getting a car and about $3000. He has a girlfriend so he is clearly capable of establishing relationships with people, despite the gamer label that has been placed upon him. Had he not played Splinter Cell he probably would have never made friends with these people in MA.

You meet a variety of people on Xbox Live that you would not meet otherwise. You can go to the local movie theaters every Saturday night but you are bound to see the same high school kids flirting incessantly and talking loudly. Through Xbox, my friends have had frequent encounters with a number of colorful people like frustrated British kids, trailer trash, and even an overprotective husband who yelled at my friend for supposedly attempted to hit on his wife through a head set. Clearly the husband would not have been so protective if these relationships with other people weren't capable of being formed through gaming.

Revenge of the Nerds? They're capable of maintaining their grades as well as their friendships. Sucks to be popular.

Being a nerd is way more fun anyways.

KRS10

FML is taking over my Life. FML

My most recent online addiction has transferred over from Youtube to www.fmylife.com. I am ashamed to admit that reading some of these makes me feel better when shit happens. It makes life's little squabbles fucking hilarious because I am in no way, shape or form involved in these shenanigans.

Here are a few of my recent favorites. I have a feeling this will not be the last time you see these snippets.

"Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML"

- I don't know who to feel worse for in this situation: the probably decent guy who was dumped by an ignorant girl, or the dumbass who actually believes such a thing as Cullen exists. *cough*Vampires are real*cough*

"Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML"

-The first thing that comes to mind is of course going to be Dave Chapelle.
Dave Chapelle during his skit "Black Bush"
*says into 4 separate microphones
"Shut-the-fuck-up!"
5 year old ownage. Who doesn't love it?

"Today, at physical therapy the girl next to me had a blue armband. I said "Hey sweet ipod". She said, "Actually i have diabetes." FML"

"Today, my friends and I decided that we were going to make fun of our teacher by laughing as hard as we could at the first thing he said because he was always cracking horrible jokes. He walked in and told us his father had just passed. I was the only one to laugh. FML"

"Today, I got really depressed and decided to call Kids Help Phone. An operator answered, and as I started to talk about my problem, I stuttered a couple times because I was nervous and upset. The operator hung up on me. FML"

-Sick and twisted. Have a heart and at least try to stifle your laughter.

"Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML"

"Today, I took my friend to buy a pregame test. She took it and it came out negative. I decided to re-pee on it to be funny...it turned to positive. FML"

"Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man. FML"

"Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML"

-I've always been a fan of brevity.

"Today, I realized that I know more about the Transformers history than I do about talking to women. FML"

-Sadly, I know more about Transformers than I do on how to dress myself, so I can relate. I'm lucky to have a boyfriend who understands why I have posters of giant alien robots in my room.



You saw it coming.

Enough FML. I can literally spend hours on there.

Until next time.

KRS10

Testing 1, 2, 3...

"If she were in the Vagina Monologues, she'd be the angry vagina."
-Emmy

She would be the angry vagina. She is the angry vagina that made me want to start blogging.
So thanks angry vagina.