FML is taking over my Life. FML

My most recent online addiction has transferred over from Youtube to www.fmylife.com. I am ashamed to admit that reading some of these makes me feel better when shit happens. It makes life's little squabbles fucking hilarious because I am in no way, shape or form involved in these shenanigans.

Here are a few of my recent favorites. I have a feeling this will not be the last time you see these snippets.

"Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML"

- I don't know who to feel worse for in this situation: the probably decent guy who was dumped by an ignorant girl, or the dumbass who actually believes such a thing as Cullen exists. *cough*Vampires are real*cough*

"Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML"

-The first thing that comes to mind is of course going to be Dave Chapelle.
Dave Chapelle during his skit "Black Bush"
*says into 4 separate microphones
"Shut-the-fuck-up!"
5 year old ownage. Who doesn't love it?

"Today, at physical therapy the girl next to me had a blue armband. I said "Hey sweet ipod". She said, "Actually i have diabetes." FML"

"Today, my friends and I decided that we were going to make fun of our teacher by laughing as hard as we could at the first thing he said because he was always cracking horrible jokes. He walked in and told us his father had just passed. I was the only one to laugh. FML"

"Today, I got really depressed and decided to call Kids Help Phone. An operator answered, and as I started to talk about my problem, I stuttered a couple times because I was nervous and upset. The operator hung up on me. FML"

-Sick and twisted. Have a heart and at least try to stifle your laughter.

"Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML"

"Today, I took my friend to buy a pregame test. She took it and it came out negative. I decided to re-pee on it to be funny...it turned to positive. FML"

"Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man. FML"

"Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML"

-I've always been a fan of brevity.

"Today, I realized that I know more about the Transformers history than I do about talking to women. FML"

-Sadly, I know more about Transformers than I do on how to dress myself, so I can relate. I'm lucky to have a boyfriend who understands why I have posters of giant alien robots in my room.



You saw it coming.

Enough FML. I can literally spend hours on there.

Until next time.

KRS10